Last weekend I traveled back in time. Back to the 70s. I put on my Starsky and Hutch t-shirt and drove my Leyland P76 out to that great monolith in the south-eastern suburbs, Waverley Park. (actually, I put on the fleecy trackpants and drove the Volvo down that joke called the south-eastern arterial) Some of the advertising boards at the ground look like they were hand-painted - badly. I also discovered that you can sing the Hawthorn club song to the Vegemite jingle. And after the game, while battling through the carpark (there are some advantages to driving a Volvo with Tasmanian numberplates) I cut off Eddie McGuire. What an end to the day.
Tonight Richmond play the Weagles at the MCG. Darren Gaspar has been given the job on Scott "he's-not-as-fat-as-he-used-to-be" Cummings. A half-back-flanker called McKenna notches up his 250th tonight.
Tomorrow the Bluebaggers take on the evil that is Adelaide. Malcolm Blight has given his players a bit of a stir in recent weeks, and they're still a chance to make the final eight. If there's any goodness in the galaxy they won't. Blues have an in-form Lance Whitnall (at last) at centre-half-forward.
Geelong vs Collingwood. St Johns Ambulance will be working overtime at Petrol Park reviving supporters of both sides who realise just how bad their teams are.
Melbourne are one game plus percentage out of the eight. If they don't stand up this week, it could be like Garry Lyon's career - all over. Sydney must fancy their chances.
St Kilda travel to sunny WA for a night game, and thankfully they are showing this game live on tv, if only the second half. Fat Tony Francis has been dropped from the Sainters side.
Brisbane will be roughing up pretty-boy Shane Crawford and the Gabba tomorrow night. Don't let em fool ya, Crawford is a dirty little player. You never heard Dipper complaining about the treatment he received. I think they've gone soft down at Glenferrie.
Port Adelaide's captain Gavin Wanganeen is out this week with a broken thumb. Probably broke it playing for a free kick. Bombers will thump 'em.
Bulldogs and Kangas clash in what many are calling the match of the round. It'll be a top match, but how many North supporters will be there? Will we see North Melbourne train station overflowing with families decked out in blue and white? Will the crowd erupt when North score a goal? No, because there are no North supporters. Do us all a favour and move to Sydney. That's a bit harsh, isn't it...in truth North are probably paying the price for years of mediocrity.
So remember, the phoenix can fly only when its feathers are grown.
Tipping closes at 6pm tonight - the bright lights of the MCG, the dazzling skills of the Tigers and the super-dull Weagles await me down Jolimont way.