November

CAST:

Ian, a Tasmanian Carlton supporter living in London

Grant, a Tasmanian Richmond supporter living in London

George, not a Tasmanian, Grant's flatmate

GRANT:

(pointing at telly) Did you see how that bloke's name was spelt? Johnathan with an "h"!

GEORGE:

That's outrageous.

IAN:

An "h" in the "John"?

GRANT:

Any man knows that Jonathan doesn't have an "h", it's J-O-N-A-T-H-A-N.

GEORGE:

There's no way around it. Jonathan - one "h", and it's at the end.

IAN:

The arse end.

GRANT:

The arse end.

GEORGE:

The arse end.

GRANT:

So this clown's going around calling himself Johnathan-with-an-h.

GEORGE:

An extra "h".

IAN:

I blame the parents.

GEORGE:

I blame society.

IAN:

It's the result of neglect of the education system in this country by governments in the last twenty years.

GRANT:

Well fair crack of the whip, that bloke must be 65 years old.

GEORGE:

So the education system theory can be ruled out.

GRANT:

He could be a remnant of the Great Spelling Famine that struck in the 1930s.

IAN:

We are still paying the price today for that Famine.

GRANT:

Where is this going to end?

IAN:

Today it's Jonathan, sorry Johnathan, next it'll be sweeping the country. "Ian" spelt as "Iain" will be next, then "George", and surely "Grant" can't be too far after that.

GEORGE:

A world of uncertainty and change.

IAN:

I tell ya, once this epidemic crosses Hadrian's Wall into Scotland, it's all over red rover.

GRANT:

This Johnathan fella just doesn't know what he's started.