Saturday, 11th November.
Had a look at James' place in Fulham, and it looks like a
winner. There's a dishwasher, need I say any more.
But I decided to have a look at the other places I had lined
up anyway. I arrived at Pellant Rd, Fulham, precisely on time.
Worrying, isn't it, all this punctuality? As soon as I entered
their little dog wanted to make friends with me, or at least my
leg. The feeling wasn't reciprocated.
The incumbents at Pellant Rd were a little underdone. They had
only just finished tidying up, one of them was still in the shower,
and they hadn't eaten breakfast yet. They had prepared a list of
questions for each of the interviewees, but had left it at work.
So they had to ad lib.
"Uhh, what kind of music do you like?" one of them asked. He was
promptly bagged senseless by his flatmates. "Hey it's the only
question I could think of!" he protested.
Not holding my breath on that one.
Then out to Camden Town to have a look at a place there. Hmm, I
feel a song coming on...
Oh yeah the pirate radio told us what was going down
Got the tickets from some messed up bloke in Camden Town
And no one seems to know exactly where it is
But that's okay, cos we're all sorted out for E's and Wizz
Saturday afternoon in Camden is manic, even on a dreary London
afternoon. As I battled through the market crowds, A-Z in hand, a
bloke jumped out and yelled at me. "WHA!!" I was startled and
confused. Just like being in Spain.
I found the place, in fact arrived there precisely on time again.
What a worrying trend. A bloke called Paulo answered the door and
showed me around the flat. It wasn't the greatest, but it was
cheap. Then I had the panel interview.
I made one of my little jokes, which didn't even rate a smile.
Hmm, tough crowd. Or stupid crowd. I was leaning towards the
latter. Marilyn handled proceedings, and asked me three questions
that they asked everyone.
1. Well I actually can't remember what 1 was. Maybe they asked
me what I do for a living. Hmm.
2. Do I smoke? Hell no. I don't think this is going well.
3. Do I drink? Not really. Right, well I think I've blown it!
After that ridiculopathy I made some really funny joke about
people who aren't actually looking for somewhere to live but go
around pretending to, just for a laugh. Nobody thought that was even
remotely amusing. Oh lighten up you miserable sods. Hope you find
a mentally unstable drug addict who gives the impression of being a
really together guy. Yeah sure you'll ring back, as if you will!
Back out into the rain, and back to the dentist surgery. Rob and
Jonah were home, watching a bit of telly. They'd only been up and
about for a few hours, they had a Large Friday Night. Thunderbirds
came on, and we were glued to the set.
Plot summary: whole lotta puppets living in a swamp, some
scientist developed an amazing solution that does weird shit. Evil
guy sneaks into laboratory and spills it or something, I wasn't
paying attention. So much for being glued to the set. Solution gets
washed down plughole and into the swamp. Alligators swimming in the
swamp get affected by the chemicals, and MUTATE!!! Naturally the
alligators go mad and start attacking the puppets in the house at the
edge of the swamp. (Why did they build such a nice house in a
swamp? Makes no sense.) A puppet calls International Rescue, and
they scramble to fight the mutant alligators, which by now are trying
to knock down the house. Then comes a classic line:
"Hey professor, relax."
"Relax? How can I relax with three mutant alligators outside?"