an idiot in london


Friday, 21st July.

Dull day at work, mohawked sunbather at lunch, home early, ready for a quiet night in. I nearly got it, too.

I went to bed early, knowing that I might not get a lot of sleep for the rest of the weekend. I turned off my bedroom light and hopped into bed, when I heard yelling from the flats next door. I was up for some free entertainment, so I opened my bedroom window and leant out to see what was going on.

There was a human of indeterminate sex sprawled out in front of one of the ground floor flats.

I have nowhere else to stay.
I have nowhere else to stay, there's nowhere for me to go.
There's nowhere else I can stay.
How could you? I trusted you!
I have nowhere else to stay.
What do you want me to say?
I said that I'm sorry, Josie.
I said I'm sorry.
But I love my sister Lucy, and I'm proud of that.
something is said from the doorway of the ground floor flat
I didn't say that! I didn't! I love you Josie.
Oh how could you say that Josie, I love you.
I love you Josie.
I'm going to stay here then.
I have nowhere else to go.
Call the old Bill then!
he's talking to everyone, but there's no-one else around
Call the old Bill then, I don't care.
I'll just lie here, they'll have to carry me away.
Carry me away to 72 Cranbury Road SW6!
That's 72, C-R-A-N-B-U-R-Y Road, SW6.
Let's give it it's correct name, 72 Little Cranbury Road.
How could you Josie, how could you say that?
How could you?
I love you Josie, I wouldn't say that, I wouldn't!
I have nowhere else to stay.
I love you, I love your family, they took me in, I did your garden for free.
I resisted the urge to correct him on his grammar
I didn't, I didn't say that.
tired and emotional, he gets up and starts walking away. then he straddles the fence outside the flats
oh yeah, and this is a bad language warning...
I don't belong here.
I don't belong in this place.
I don't think I belong in Fulham.
I'm a GYPSY, and I belong wherever I want, and if you don't like that, then...F%@K...YOU...BASTARDS
he stood there, listening to his declaration echoing aound the courtyard...then a woman walking by pipes up
Do you want me to call a taxi?