Friday, 11th January 2002.
I had to call a sheila in Germany for work today. A specific sheila that is, not just
any old fraulein. The phone rang, and she answered in German, strangely enough.
I was about to commence a conversation in German when I realised that within about one
sentence I would have exceeded my German language skills. So I pulled out the old classic
"Sprechen Sie Englisch?"
At precisely that moment, Con (Australian bloke who sits next to me at work)
cracked up. I knew he was laughing at me, mostly
because he was pointing at me and laughing at the same time. This was enough to make me
feel a little self-concious, and I went beetroot and started sweating in a most unattractive
manner. (Can you sweat in an attractive manner? Er, well, actually let's not investigate
that line of thought too thoroughly.)
Having finished my call, I started to explain the whole "Sprechen Sie Englisch" thing to
Con. He was still laughing, and I couldn't see why.
Eventually he came clean.
"Is that what you said?" he laughed, "I thought you said 'Speaka de english'!"