Wednesday, 18th October.
Ian and Germans dump on France
By some miracle I made it to the airport on time. The highlight
of the flight was having a dump over France.
Once I had collected my baggage, I went outside to catch a bus to
the city. The 11:55am bus left right on time, and without me. So
I waited another twenty minutes for the 12:15pm bus, which also left
with German precision.
I arrived in Munich at lunchtime, and spent the afternoon
confusing people with my inadequate German. Then I discovered that
most people speak better English than I do German. Hmm.
All stairways in Germany have an even number of steps.
After a nap (or was it a siesta? I'm not sure) I ventured
in to the city to see what was going on. Judging by the number
of blokes wearing soccer tops there was a soccer match happening
in Munich. I bought the paper and worked out that there was a
Champions League match going on at the Olympic Stadium.
So I took the train out to the Olympic Stadium, and discovered
to my horror that tickets to the match started from DM55. I
asked for the cheapest ticket.
There was a ground announcer who was trying to whip the crowd
into a tuetonic frenzy. His name was Stefan, or Steffen, or
something, it's not important. First he conducted, with the assistance
of the cameramen at the ground and the electronic scoreboard, a
competition to find the most enthusiastic mullet-sporting Bayern
Munich supporter. They panned through the crowd, and eventually
settled upon a young bloke wearing a acid-wash denim jacket and lots
of scarfs. He came down from the terraces and was interviewed by
Stef, and he bellowed something unintelligible into the microphone,
but I'm guessing it was "COME ON BAYERN MUNICH LET'S STICK IT RIGHT
UP THESE SOFT, SMELLY, BAGUETTE-MUNCHING FRENCHIES!"
Next was the competition to find the most beautiful female
Bayern Munich supporter. No easy task! In fact they only managed to
find three mildly attractive girls in the stadium, and spent a minute
or so just panning between these three girls. Somehow they decided
that the dark-haired girl was the winner. She seemed genuinely
surprised - perhaps she wasn't a Bayern supporter, she just came
for the witty conversation on the terraces.
Before the teams entered the arena for the game the team selections
were announced. And it went something like this:
Announcer: In goal for Bayern Munich, number 1, Oliver...
A: Number 2, Willy...
And so on and so on. The crowd seemed incapable of doing anything
spontaneous, but they sure could join in when told to by the ground
announcer. The crowd had swelled considerably by the time kick-off
arrived. (water retention I'm guessing)
It wasn't long before Bayern opened the scoring. After the goal
and the celebrations and all that, the ground announcer (it's still
this Stef bloke with his outrageously blond hair) gives the goal
A: The goalscorer in the third minute, Hasan...
A: Bayern Munchen...
A: Paris Saint-Germain...
A: Bayern Munich...
A: Paris Saint-Germain...
C: You're welcome!
Well that had me in stitches. It was repeated when Bayern scored
their second goal. The mulleted Muncheners went home happy.