an idiot in london


Tuesday, 25th April.
...and in the morning

I was up bloody early this morning. The alarm went off at about 4:15am. The cab arrived early, and I was out the door soon after twenty-to-five. He dropped me at the east gates of Battersea Park, and I made my way along the path, following the sounds of antipodean accents.

When you remind yourself why you're going to an Anzac Day dawn service, being up so early doesn't seem to bother you that much. About 100 or so Australians, New Zealanders and others gathered at about 5am. A group of New Zealanders (the type that squeeze 16 people into one house) stood next to me. One of the very attractive females (that is sarcasm) was yapping on, and her friend said "You're swearing a lot." She replied "It's for emphasis." "You're emphasising going to the shop?" I stifled a laugh.

Rolf Harris read the ode, ruined by a jet screaming overhead. Rolf gets about all right for an old bastard doesn't he?

After the service I walked back to Fulham, which took me an hour. It wasn't even seven o'clock when I returned home. So I rang Mum, and my brother answered the phone. First things first, who won the football? Bluebaggers! Yes!

How much?
About fifty points.
How'd Mum cope?
Yeah good. It was close for a while, Richmond got within three points, then we kicked about six goals.
Essendon Pies on telly now, third quarter.
Bombers by a couple of goals.
Hate the Bombers.
Hate the Pies.
Hmm, dilemma.
sound of my Mum heckling in the background
What did she say?
Something about the New Zealanders. I'll let her tell you about the New Zealanders.
Uh, ok.
Hang on, I'll get her.
It's the grumpy young man
This is your son speaking.
Greetings son.
Enjoy the football?
These women sat behind us that I'm sure sat behind us at Optus Oval.
They were abusing all the Richmond players, carrying on. "You're a poof Daffy!" they were yelling out.
Good on 'em. Good for football.
We had some New Zealanders with us, it was their first game of football.
That would've been an experience for them.
It was. One of them said to me "How many quarters do they play?" I looked at her and said "How many quarters do you have in New Zealand?"
You sure do find 'em. Where did you sit?
Ponsford. A family came to sit down in front of us, and Alastair said "Now there's a walking advertisement for contraception"
I'm sure that's my line...

I was useless at work, more useless than usual. Looking forward to an early night.

Well I didn't get one.

to be continued...