an idiot in london


Monday, 17th April.

THE SCENE: Four blokes aged in their early twenties, finishing their tea/dinner/supper, watching some music videos on Sky. A Christina Aguilera clip is on.

NOTE FOR READERS OUTSIDE THE UK: Fit = good looking woman who takes care of herself

Have you seen the new Fitney Spears clip? She is fit in that.
Almost as fit as her.
Christina Aguilera - she is ffffffffit.
Let's see if we can find the new Fitney.
Fitney Spheres.
Mate, she is fit.
Aguilera's are fake.
As if it matters.
You reckon the Spheres are real?
Some of them are.
Look at that stomach - fit!
There's a drug overdose across the street.
As if there is.
As if there isn't!
There's an ambulance there.
Hey who's finding Fitney?
Where's the body?
Don't make it obvious that you're staring out the window.
That's not Fitney.
Pull the curtains across.
Hey it's the Backdoor Boys.
Mox's favourite band.
I thought it was Westlife?
A BMW's just pulled up.
Reckon it's a doctor?
Or a drug dealer.
Left hand drive.
Bloody hell he's huge.
That's not Fitney. Who's finding the Spheres?
We could ring up and request the video.
Another ambulance has pulled up.
No body bag yet.
I should go over and help them: "I'm in St John's Ambulance, want a hand?"
No no, go over and tell them you're a third year medical student.
No Fitney.
What's going on? There has to be some Fitney. Try MTV Base.
This song is lame.
Yeah but the clip is awesome. Enough of you and your car mate, we want to see the girls on the beach.