an idiot in london


Tuesday, 11th April.
No Laughing!

"You make your own fun," I've been known to say.

(I'm beginning to sound like my parents.)

Unfortunately you don't get to meet someone from South London on the train every day. Some days you can just stand there, looking at everyone looking at their shoes. I spent a whole minute on the train this morning looking in someone's ear. It was in dire need of a wash. And you get disinterested train drivers announcing the stations as you pull in.

As the train pulled into Oxford Circus Station, the driver announced:

"Oxford Circus, change here for the Central and Bakerloo Lines, or jump off here for a spot of shopping in Oxford Street, Regent Street or New Bond Street, which is only a stone's throw away."

I didn't laugh, you're not allowed to laugh on the train.

I'm sure I've copped this train driver before. Either he's really bored and is making his own fun, or he's just that kind of bloke. As we pull in to Hyde Park Corner he announces: "Hyde Park Corner, this is a good station to alight if you want to go to...Hyde Park." All totally deadpan. He's a genius, and I'm A Big Fan Of His Work.